Protection ritual of my own creation for crossing the Abyss on the Tree of Life consisting of black and white candles and deer skulls that once belonged to Jhonn Balance of Coil from the ever generous Ian Johnstone who also spiritually identified with the deer.
I felt a very comforting presence in the room, one of protection and that my fate will continue to explore the mysteries of this world and beyond.
I first learned of Coil through Jhonn Balance’s death. Afterwards, I started listening to albums like the Musick To Play in the Dark series and more, changing the way I saw music and planting the seed in me that wanted to know that there was more to this world than what most humans experienced even though I had always sensed it during childhood.
I first started listening to Coil when I was about 13, and one night I had a vision of what some may call a shadow person talking to me in a very strange voice from the corner of my room. I don’t remember very much except that they told me that Jhonn cared for me.
One could just discount it as a sleep paralysis episode, but years later I came into contact with and befriended almost all of the surviving members of Coil, including the late Peter Christopherson, Ossian Brown, Stephen Thrower, and Ian Johnstone.
I see two figures in the top of the picture, it’s probably just lensflare, but there’s something haunting about how human they are.
I read Psalms 23 three times whilst anointing them with oil as described in Exodus, the Psalms passage most relevant to my situation as I confront my own demons and prepare myself for those who dwell within the Abyss.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.